Thoughts from Two Years Ago

I found this today, and it made me smile. I'm so thankful for the changes that have taken place in the last two years--that I've gone from breathlessly anticipating an engagement to being the happy wife I am today. Thankful for those changes, and thankful that some things haven't changed!

November 22nd, 2007
So many things to be thankful about...

I remembered this morning back to a year ago today...I was so completely in love with Jesse by then, but hadn't told anyone yet (nor had we shared those feelings aloud with each other). It was a secret that made me smile, blush, and ache at the same time. I remember baking cookies for Thanksgiving, daydreaming about him the whole time, and losing track of how many teaspoons of salt I had added to the batch. My heart was singing about him, and I couldn't share it with anyone else!

Now we are soon to be celebrating one beautiful year of dating. I love him so much! And I am so thankful for him. Every day of this year has truly been a blessing. I am in love with my best friend. And now, this Thanksgiving, I'm holding another secret: we're getting married! We're not announcing it until we are officially engaged. But in my heart, I am engaged to him. I've already made that promise to him. All I want is the opportunity to love him and cherish him for the rest of my life. And he has shown the same promise to me in a thousand different ways. The only thing we are lacking is a physical symbol of our promise. But it's coming :)

I am so thankful for him! God, I thank You for putting him in my life, for giving him (and me!) the patience to wait until the right time to begin dating, for the beautiful relationship we have together, for the times we've shared with friends, and for the times we have to spend together alone, for the laughs we've shared together, and for the way that he holds me and prays with me in hard times, for the way our hands join automatically whenever we're within touching distance, for our conversations about the future, for the way You allow us to find time to spend together even in the midst of our hectic schedules, for the quiet times we share together reading, for the teamwork you've created in us--helping each other with homework and projects and commitments. I thank you for the relationships we have built with each other's families, and I thank you for Bianca. I thank you for the joy we find in merely being together, for the thrills I feel whenever he looks at me, and for the dreams we have of all of our "somedays." Thank you for providing for our every need, so that even when we don't see an immediate answer to a situation, we can trust in You and know that everything will work out with Your perfect timing.

I love looking at last Thanksgiving and comparing it to this Thanksgiving, with all of the changes that have come this year. So much joy, and so many blessings. Thank You, God! Last year, I knew I loved him, and wanted to date him. This year, I know I love him, and that I want to be his wife! Looking ahead at next year, it fills me with awe to realize that we will be married, and we will be sharing our first Thanksgiving together. So many things have changed in the last year, and so many changes will be made in the year to come. Who knows? Next year, we could all be celebrating Thanksgiving at OUR house!

And we did :)


On Tuesday night at Bible study, one of our friends was talking about us and said how he "went to dinner with the Brubakers." A thrill went through me, and when I looked at Jesse, he had a big smile on his face. We're not just Jesse and Bethany--the newlyweds. In the eyes of others, we're beginning to be seen as one, a set, a family. It's a beautiful thing. We are so happy!